Do you have that one person you keep chasing? that one person you always need to look out for and keep close so that you won’t lose them? It may be your sister, your husband, your boyfriend , your best friend.
Now flipping the Coin! Are you the one that need to be chased, begged, ego massaged, tolerated?
You might not realize but you may be pushing people away from you.
Sometimes it’s hard to know where to stop, to know where to set the boundaries. I find myself in friendships that it feels I’m the only one trying. when we fight I need to apologize even when I’m not at fault, we don’t talk for days and I’m the one that did something wrong ?, it’s exhausting. Sometimes I ask myself what’s all the fuss about? I’m pretty independent! I can survive on my own.
The irony of this is I have friends who have never given up on me, friends that always call, encourage, apologize when we fight, make themselves available. It’s not that I don’t love them or I don’t appreciate them, I’ve just gotten used to being the spoilt one in those relationships.
Many of us are quick to assign blame and switch out the victim card. We always believe the universe is against us. Always ready to run, never willing to try and stick around. It’s time to take a step back and reevaluate. In most of your broken relationships what part did u have to play? Was it reconcilable? If yes, did you try or let ego get in the way? There is so far a friend, mum, spouse or significant other can carry you. At a point you need to own up, work on yourself and carry your own weight.
It’s sad to say but some of us are so used to always being the bigger person and end up being bitter for it. love keeps no record of wrongs. This doesn’t mean you should be taken advantage of. It’s important you know your self worth and know when to let go. In the same breadth it’s all about realizing how much you value that friend. Some of us might wonder why is my dad always apologizing to my mum even when she’s wrong, why does my husband always throw in the towel first? It doesn’t mean the other party is stupid. It just means you are valued far more than any silly fight.
Are you in a fix right now trying to determine whether to let go or not ? Think about the relationship and answer these questions,You will find the answer your searching for.
1. Are we both adding value to each other’s lives?
2. Can I deal with X’s baggage without being pulled down?
3. Are there things I do that X has to deal with and overlook?
4. How long do our fights last; Does it cross over to the next day?
5.Have I spoken to X about how I feel?
6. What was my approach when talking to X?
7. How was the news taken?
Sometimes it’s not about ego! It’s about finding the boundary between self respect and loving someone else. Being independent is fun but we all need someone to lean on.
Are you the Beggar or the Spoilt Brat?