Take a Seat- Catch your Breath

I have spent the last few days trying to figure out how to start this post without losing my audience within the first few minutes. This is because there is so much out there at the moment talking about how to transition into the new year ... bla bla bla; if I was an avid reader seeing that as the first post of the year will have me ?. What the World Thinks So let me get right to it, My friends and family look at me and see what exactly? Oh Tosin has her hands full, Tosin is always chasing something, Tosin is a go- getter or to others Tosin needs to focus, Tosin life is really easier than you are taking it or Tosin when you blow remember me o!

Will it shock you to hear all of them are right? I’m not going to bore you with details as to how I planned for the new year, it’s quite similar to what I did in 2018 . The few changes were anjola kept on pressuring me about having a theme for the year. What Anjola doesn’t know is I might act like I’m not listening but I’m taking notes in my head?. After her ranting about having a theme for the year, I ended up with “Being Intentional”.

I have always been one to give 100% to what I’m doing at that  time but being Intentional means something different . It means making a conscious effort  in EVERY area of my life. I have a bad habit of completely blocking off certain areas of my life till I’m ready to deal with it. Is it a good coping mechanism? Maybe? But this year I want to make a conscious effort to be the best version of myself; be intentional with my skin care routine, health care routine, with my time (learn to tell people No) I’m sure you get the memo. Goals! Goals! Groans! I put most of my goals on my calendar for the whole year. Visit the gym more consistently, be intentional about midweek service,etc is  on the calendar.     The only major difference is some of these calendar entries are linked to my accountability partner or to my sister’s email  who sometimes has to go home with me from work. That way she knows my plans even before I do. Now I’m going somewhere with this so stay with me. Anjola said plan your morning routine and evening routine, but my Monday routine is different from Tuesday’s routine so I have a different routine for everyday of the week - I also put that in my calendar. I chose the books I want to read this year, sat down and planned the calendar for my side hustles this year. What I think? When I was done I was convinced I was ready for the new year. It’s shocking for me to admit this to you but parts of me feel more confused and unsure about the New Year than crossover night ?.

Would you believe I was going to enter the new year with the slogan, whatever happens; happens!   ?

In the bid of trying to arrange every aspect of my life I think I forgot or I chose to ignore certain parts ( it took me 4 days to complete my goals chart of 2019) I procrastinate when I’m scared to face an issue head on. Losing my Breath Now what areas of my life do I feel unsure about, firstly my child ? ( I mean this blog ??) it’s hard to believe but I don’t have a plan. Content for the blog is not  lined up for the year, or maybe I’m too overwhelmed with my life to sit down and figure it out.  I’ve heard certain persons tell me write what people want like gossip, etc I told them point blank “over my living body”!. I might not know what the plan for this blog is 2019 but I’m sure that with every day that passes I will figure it out. Taking a Seat A friend recently pulled out of a project we were on together. We were on a break because she felt overwhelmed. I saw it coming but I wanted her to go through the process and decide for herself what she wants to do. It wasn’t easy with her leaving but I was happy she was honest enough to let me know she isn’t interested anymore. I keep asking myself do I want to continue with this? Should I close this project and focus on other things? Do I have the capacity to run this exclusively? Catching My Breath Many things are not yet figured out , so many doors left opened, I’m not sure yet what I want to do with them.

Some doors need to be closed and that does not mean I have failed. It just means it’s not yet time, or I am in for something bigger or different.

So as I navigate through 2019, with some level of uncertainty I’m excited to share this journey with you. I will need to shut some doors , new doors will be opened but the most exciting thing for me is I have found something I love doing and that makes everything a tad bit better. how do you feel about 2019?